I spend most of my time In Wuqiao, A small town in China renown for acrobatics which I completely fell in love with, deeply rooted with traditional culture and warm hearts compared to other big cities in China, but here it's still a woman's worst fate to be an unwed or barren.
I am so grateful for the world we live in today. We have overcome so much repression, we really have opened our eyes to a whole new way of living for our own happiness and freedom. When I was 18 I fell pregnant, I was terrified, I was so young, I didn't want a baby, I thought it would ruin my life. I got a scan at 7 weeks pregnant, as she mushed cold jelly over my stomach and brought up an image with a beating heart. I gave it a temporary name "bobby". I made the decision to go ahead with the pregnancy.
3 weeks later I woke up at 5am to excruciating pains, I drove to the hospital, the nurse put the jelly on, but this time there was no heartbeat. I felt crushed. Initially It was the worst news of my life that I was pregnant, I was fresh out of school, no career, I knew nothing about the world but when I made that Decision to keep it , I felt a sense of joy and excitement for this new life, and then to have it taken away from me was even more devastating.
Ever since that experience I knew wanted to make little humans one day when the time was right.11 years later that maternal feeling never really left. Though I was glad I got a second chance to have a career and create a whole different life path, I still have that longing for motherhood. I just want to share this to the women (and men) who feel that something is missing, it's ok to grieve, you are not crazy, it's not a disease or mental illness, it's mother nature and grief is an emotion. To let you know you don't need to be brave or strong. It's ok to be weak and vulnerable because that really is true strength. Whether you haven't met a suitable partner, in a same sex relationship or having infertility issues, you are not alone and there are So many options out there. I think my emotions for sure ignited the idea to start a children's clothing line, Maybe someday I will be able to stick one of my own offspring into A "Little Bubble Bum".